Everything You Never Expected
by Nikki14u
Summary: Dealing with loss is never easy. But sometimes what seems like the end is just the beginning of a world you never even knew existed. Bucas, Naley Jeyton and some DanKaren flashbacks. Lots of Lucas Angst
1. The Hardest Thing

**Summary: Dealing with loss is never easy. Sometimes you to want to stop living and you sit back as the world around you spirals out of control. But sometimes what seems like the end is just the beginning of a world you never even knew existed.**

**This story takes place one week after the shooting.**

**Teaser**

He felt sick to my stomach as he watched the man he always thought of as a father being lowered into the cold, hard earth. Through his blurry vision he could barely make out the outline of the dark oak that held inside it the only person other then his mother that had always been there for him. The one person he would have gladly given his life for on that day if he had been given the chance.

The boy could feel the tears stinging his eyes as he heard the voice of the priest "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" he spoke in a raised yet soft voice as year's worth of memories, good and bad flash before his eyes. If you would have told him a month ago that something like this was going to happen Lucas Scott would have said that you were crazy and that Keith Scott had the strength and the drive to live forever but like so many other moments in his life he would have been wrong.

Next to him the boy could hear his mother sobbing loudly as she buried her head in my father's shoulder. He was holding her tightly against him as if he had a right to and it made the first born Scott nauseous. Who the hell did he think he was? He causes nothing but heartache and pain to both his Mom and Keith for years and now he wants to sit her with his arms around the woman he got pregnant and then abandoned, trying to comfort her at the funeral of the brother he had made miserable since the day he was born. The very same man who thought up the brilliant idea of hiring a woman to seduce and trap his own brother into a relationship that would only lead to the man's heart being crushed into a thousand pieces. Yes Dan Scott was a despicable bastard and if he thought for one second that the death of his uncle was going to make room for him in his family then he had another thing coming.

On the other side of him was his wife Deb. The woman was alright but even she had no right being there. After all she was the one who had set a fire that almost killed the evil bastard and yet he still found a way to blame it on Keith. But he wouldn't attack the woman because she was after all his brother's mother and had only taken such desperate and drastic measures because the man she thought she knew turned out to be a snake that almost destroyed her.

Next to her sat his grandparents. Although he didn't know them he could tell just by looking at them that they were an elderly replica of Dan and Deb Scott. The woman was a nice, soft spoken lady who would probably do anything for her boys and for anyone else in the family. Once in a while he would catch her staring at him, wanting to reach out to him and say something but she would always change her mind at the last second and look down to the ground as more tears fell from her eyes. He kind of felt sorry for her knowing that she loved her son and did her best to make him feel comfortable and welcomed in their family but she was only one person. Between the father and his favorite boy neither she nor her eldest son ever stood a chance.

Beside her sat Royal. The man who had created the monster he was forced to forever be tied to by way of blood line and the man he owed his life too. Royal was a nasty character and if he had ever wondered where Dan got his self righteous, egotistical, aggressive, bossy and overbearing behavior from his answer came in the form of this man. He was very crude and gruff even as he sat beside his grieving wife, forcing the woman to basically grieve alone while he had his hands folding in his lap and stared at the coffin before him. His eyes were glazed over but like his favorite boy the man didn't shed one single tear. He wanted to walk over to the asshole and slap some sense into him and try to make him see what a good, decent, caring person his son was. He wanted to tell him that he raised a good man and that his world was a lot safer and filled with love and a great sense of pride because of him. But more then anything he wished that the man could see Keith for what he was instead of what he perceived him to be. He wanted to him to see the side of Keith that was hard working, loyal, loving, strong and responsible, instead of looking at him as if he were some kind of failure, something to be ashamed of.

Not being able to take the sight of his grandfather he turned his head to the seat directly next to him where his brother Nathan sat. The boy had an arm around his shoulder and was crying silent tears for a man who had given him the best months of his life when they had worked together at the dealership. He said that Keith was more like a father to him in those few weeks then Dan had ever been in his entire life which didn't surprise him one bit. But he had to admit that even though the relationship between them had become stained over the past few months that Nathan didn't miss a beat when he found out about Keith. In fact he was the one who broke the news to him and his mother and had volunteered to stay the night with them to make sure they had everything they needed. He had even stayed up that night with him and held him tight as he cried his heart and soul out over the devastating loss that he would unquestionably be feeling for years to come. Nathan was amazing and had been with him every step of the way. It was kind of funny to him how at one point they were bitter enemies but he was happy that he was there for him now and that they were now closer then ever before.

Beside him sat a stunned and heartbroken Haley. Keith had been like a second father to her and he was sure that the loss was hitting her almost as hard as it was him. The young woman was sitting there with her head buried in her husbands shoulder and sobbing loudly, unable to stifle her pain. She must have made herself sick several times that day and was now dry heaving to the point where her body seemed as if it were about to give out on her. Seeing the look on her face hurt him beyond words and forced him to remove his sight from her and focus on those sitting across from him.

Across from the Scott family were a host of friends and those who have had contact with Keith over the years and wanted to give the family their full support. From his position he could see Peyton and Brooke clinging to each other as dark streaks slide down there faces and soft whimpers escaped their lips. They too loved the man in their own way and now were suffering with the harsh reality that they would never see him again. In a way they all were.

The other faces he too knew but his vision somehow blocked them out and decided once again to focus on the now barely visible casket where the greatest man he ever knew rested inside. He could feel a lump forming in his throat and his body began to quiver as a loud rumble of thunder shook everything around him before the sky gave way sending large heavy drops of water pouring from the sky. The water was soaking anything left unprotected and that included those who were mourning but yet, no one moved. After the sound of the priest voice was drowned out and long after the dark oak box had finally collided with the earth they were still glued to their seats as if they were all expecting to wake up from this nightmare any moment now.

But he knew better and as much as it pained him to think it, to admit it his life and the lives around him were going to be a lot darker and a lot harder to bare with him gone and as the family rose to their feet and began throwing the dirt turned mud down into his uncle's final resting place his body grew weak and his hands went numb. In fact if it weren't for the strong and quick limbs of his brother he surely would have went down with earth he held in his hands. But as much as he wished he had, he didn't. So there he stood with his brother and sister in law on one side and ironically enough his parents on the other as the rain washed over them all and the booming sound of another round of thunder echoed loudly in the back ground he took a deep breath as he remembered the life he had and the love he was losing while knowing that his life and the lives of those around him were never going to be the same again.


	2. Far From Okay

**Chapter One: Far From Okay**

Exactly one week had passed since Keith's funeral and yet he still found himself in the very same position.

He was locked up in his room, laying on his bed with his eyes fixated on the deep green ceiling as tears escaped his eyes and dampened his face and pillows. His only thoughts were of himself, his uncle and his mother and how happy they were going to be. Keith was finally going to be his Dad, in the legal sense of the word anyway and was set to marry his Mom and finally give him a real family. Everything was so perfect. He had never seen his mother or Keith so happy. But now he found himself asking just how the hell everything had gone so wrong so fast.

A part of him should have sensed it. Something inside of him should have known about the gathering storm in the form of his ex friend but he thought that maybe for once in his life the happiness he was experiencing was going to last for more than just a fleeting moments. That for the first time in his life everything was going to be okay.

But like a thousand times before, he was dead wrong.

Nothing was going to be okay again. Keith was gone taking with him any hopes he had of ever being happy. Of course he still had his Mom. But he had to ask himself for how long?

The woman had spiraled into a deep depression and spent most of her time walking around the house in her bathrobe talking to herself and breaking into bouts of hysteria and anger. Whenever he dared to venture out of his room he never know which version of his mother he was going to come in contact with. Sometimes he would try to avoid her all together but when they would have an encounter she would stop him, turn him around roughly and scream at him, yelling that it was all his fault Keith was gone and how if he had never gone back into that school that they would be a family now and happy instead of her sitting in her room all alone, in pain. At that point she would fall to her knees and cry as he walked away and bury himself in the darkness of his room where he too would unleash tears.

It was a never ending cycle as of late.

Sure his friends and brother would try to comfort them with phone calls and visits but they would leave hurt and frustrated when the door remained closed and the phone calls went unanswered. Neither himself nor his mother could muster the strength to look into their pity filled eyes or listen to their words of sympathy as they talked about what kind of person Keith was and how he would want them to move on with their lives.

As much as they loved them wanting to help they couldn't possibly begin to understand what Keith meant to them. They had no idea nor could they even begin to comprehend the type of effects this lost was going to have on he and his mother for years to come. Keith was the center of their world and was the one person they could always count on when times got tough. He was their resident cheerleader and loved and believed in them when others didn't and an unconditional love like that was irreplaceable.

"Lucas" his mother's voice called out to him softly.

"What?" he replied rather harshly without meaning to. He didn't want to hurt his mother or cause her any more despair but he was in no mood to be yelled at again.

"I'm going to bed now. Keith should be here soon"

This statement and the nonchalant attitude behind her words gave him an uneasy feeling.

"Mom" Luke spoke with extreme caution "Keith is…"

"Waiting for me" she interrupted "So I have to go now angel. Everything you'll need is on the kitchen counter okay"

Lucas watched fretfully as his mother left his room and headed back towards her own. He instantly sprang to his feet and followed the woman to her room where he sat in a chair next to her bed, making sure she didn't do anything to hurt herself.

Seeing her like this was tarring him apart. His mom was always so strong and in control. He was so used to seeing her dominating any situation she found herself in and when everything was said and done the woman always came out stronger and better then ever before. But at this moment he didn't see her bouncing back from this with even a fraction of her sanity in tact. The way she looked right now, the sorrow in her eyes and the gloomy oar around her soul led him to believe that his mother was on the edge of insanity and he didn't think he would ever get even a fraction of the woman she once was back. His mother, his best friend and most trusted ally was gone and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

With this thought came the sudden feeling of claustrophobia.

The walls surrounding him became too close for his liking and it felt as if someone had their hands around his throat, cutting off his air supply and causing his lungs to burn.

He had already lost so much throughout his life time that the thought of losing someone else he loved made his heart race faster and faster.

He had to get out of this place.

He had to go somewhere, anywhere to break free from the pain.

Making sure his mother was sleeping and in no way any danger to herself the boy checked her over quickly before running out of the front door into the pouring rain. He increased his speed as he passed all the houses on his street and made his way towards a park. It wasn't the court for once but instead it was a place where his uncle Keith used to take him to play all the time when he was a little boy. He didn't know what made him go there when the whole point of his venturing out was the numb the pain.

Then again maybe his subconscious didn't want him to escape what he was feeling.

Maybe he deserved it. Perhaps his mother was right. Was it possible that deep down he too blamed himself for Keith's death?

Hot pellets of water fell from his eyes as he collapsed onto one of the park benches, panting heavily. He sat there in the darkness of the night as heavy rains soaked his clothing and his body trembled. The pain in his chest decreased only slightly, forcing him to remember his heart condition and the fact that he had gone off his medication.

He laughed almost psychotically hoping that his defective organ would fail him so he wouldn't have to feel any of this any more. So that he wouldn't have to feel anything ever again.

He then buried his head in his hands and continued crying, unsure if he would ever stop.

Suddenly he felt someone put their arm around his shoulder and pull him deep into their stronger more muscular form. He didn't even have to look up to know who it was. The scent of his cologne gave his identity away almost immediately.

He could remember inhaling the scent several times before during their brief encounters growing up. During these few meetings he would try to brush up against him just enough so that his clothing would pick up some of the scent so he would be able to smell it long after the man was gone. That way at least there would be some part of the man with him, even if it were only for a short while.

That was of course before he got to know the person in question. Now the smell of the fragrance made him sick to his stomach instead f longing for the person who wore it.

On any other given day he would have pulled away from this man's grasp and proceed to tell him where to go and how to get there, but not today. Today was nothing like the days that came before it. Today he was hurting more then he ever had in his entire life and for once his biological father was in the right place at the right time and actually doing the right thing.

So the two sat there for a few short while, with the son in the arms of his father as the sound of heavy rain filled the void left by their unspoken words.

After some time the voice of the elder Scott brought his son out of a daze.

"You're going to catch a cold if we stay out here any longer"

"Maybe" he replied still staring into the abyss. He didn't care about anything right now so needless to say the thought of him catching a cold hadn't even crossed his mind.

"I think it's more enviable then simply a possibility. I think it's time I take you home" the man spoke without his usual snide ness.

The younger boy simply nodded in response as he stood and followed the man to a familiar black jeep.

Once the two were inside the man turned on the heat to full blast before pulling off and heading into the direction of home, well the one she shared with his mother anyway. Neither of them said a single word, there was no need to. So instead they decided to rely on the rain to break the silence for them until they arrived in front of the very same house he had just fled.

He released a heavy sigh and closed his eyes to prepare himself for the emptiness and loneliness that awaited him inside. When the door opened he slowly stepped out and walked behind the man in the dark trench coat. They entered the house and continued to make their way further in towards the bedrooms when the dark haired male stopped short.

"Is your mother here?" he questioned looking at the closed bedroom door.

Lucas nodded his head and pointed to the door that the man had been focused on.

Dan then knocked on the door three times before turning the knob and letting himself in.

Luke didn't know how he should feel about this but for now he was going to allow his father to check on her. Besides he was happy to have someone there to help him try to get the woman back on her feet, even if that person was Dan.

He watched as the man checked over the woman's sleeping form and ran his hand over her arm. He then saw a look of confusion was over his father's face before it was replaced by a mix of sadness and fear. He was about to question it but before he had the chance the man ran over to him and took him by the arm and ushered him back into the rain before placing him once again in the vehicle.

"I want you to stay here until I come back to get you or tell you otherwise ok?" Dan spoke in a gentle voice that he was not used to hearing.

"Ok" answered Luke as he watched the man dial numbers frantically on his cell phone before heading back into the house.

A few seconds later it became obvious who his father had called.

Flashing lights surrounded him as he saw two paramedics and a police officers rush into the house.

During this time Lucas just sat there, frozen with his eyes glued to the scene before him. Even as a gurney being wheeled out by the same medical professions rolled past him with the black body bag on top he still sat there in the same position. He said nothing. He didn't even cry as the ambulance speed away nor did he avert his eyes from the front of the house where his father was speaking with the police officer.

Once a few minutes passed the elder Scott returned to his prior position behind the steering wheel with reddened eyes and quivering lips.

That's when he finally moved.

He replaced the seatbelt around his waist and looked straight ahead. He starred into nothingness for a while as he listened to his father cry for the first time in his life.

"She's gone. Isn't she?" he questioned numbly.

He listened as Dan swallowed hard before answering.

"Yes" he paused "Yes Luke, she's gone"

"I figured" he replied casually. He could sense Dan's eyes on him more then likely shocked by his laid-back response.

"Luke…"

"How?" he interrupted.

"Sleeping pills" Dan answered softly.

"I see" Lucas paused again before continuing "I'm tired"

"Luke this has to be so hard…"

"Stop, please just stop" he almost shouted before turning to face his father "I don't want to talk about it. Besides we both know how much people just love to leave me, right Dad?" he spoke in an icy tone "And like I said before, I'm tired"

He then returned his gaze to the road as his father started the engine and the scenery around him went blurry.

It seemed as if it took hours to get to the beach house but once he was there he found himself in a familiar room, in a house he almost forgot existed. He made himself as comfortable as possible and lay still as he listened to the waves crashing up against the hard earth.

Seconds turned into hours as his eye lids became heavy and he found himself drifting off to sleep as he heard someone enter the room. His father must have thought he was sleep because he kept touching him tucking the covers I around his body, as if his first efforts had not been good enough.

"_Making up for lost time I assume" _he thought.

Then he heard the man whisper to him "It's going to be okay son" before giving him a kiss on the forehead and exiting the room once again.

A part of him wanted to believe in the words the man had spoken to him, but he couldn't.

Nothing in his world was okay; in fact everything was far from okay.


	3. Shock Waves

**A/N: Sorry. I forgot to add that in this story Jimmy was the one who killed Keith. Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you like the new chapter.**

**Chapter Two: Shock Waves**

He stood outside the closed door debating as to whether or not he should go in. Although his heart urged him to continue moving forward, his mind was plagued with doubts and questions that forced him to remain still. Staring at the wooden barrier he sighed heavily with his hand still wrapped around the brass knob wondering what his next move was going to be.

Should he go in now or wait for the boy come out on his own?

And once the boy did make an appearance should he hold him like he had the night before or should he just stay quite and try to keep out of sight until he was ready to talk?

There were no right or wrong responses given the circumstances but he still found himself torn between the various answers to his questions. Everything could turn out badly if he acted too hastily or forcefully so he would have to go over every option with a fine tooth comb before taking his next step. This was a tough situation that he now found himself in and he knew that there were no quick fixes or easy solutions to what both he and Lucas were facing but he had to be strong and stead fast. The boy needed him now more then ever and he was going to have to put past issues and betrayals aside in order to keep his son sane…to keep himself sane.

Lucas wasn't the only one who had suffered two heartbreaking losses this past week. Dan had lost his brother and the woman he loved and it was tarring him apart.

Sure in the past he had done terrible things to both Keith and Karen but that didn't mean he didn't love them. He did, more then anyone would know and now they were both gone leaving him destroyed and Lucas alone and broken.

Their deaths had left a whole in his heart, a heart most people would claim he didn't have but none the less it was still hurting, still aching for two people that he had loved, betrayed, tortured and emotionally damaged and what pained him the most was the fact that he was never going to get the chance to say that he was sorry. That he would never again be able to say I love you to either of them ever again.

This killed him.

But what hurt him the most was the look in Lucas's eyes the night before. The strong, resilient boy he had matched intellect with not too long ago was gone. His son, the smart one, the tough one was nowhere to be found. Instead there was only an empty shell, hollow, void of any emotions or signs of life. Last night he just looked drained and numb from all the pain and sorrow that had been unfairly dealt upon him. His eyes were always a bright mixture or hazel and green, just like his own but in the darkness of the night they were almost black. It was as if his soul had vanished when he realized that she wasn't coming back. That she would never smile in his direction, never hold him again, that he would never hear his mother's voice again and he knew that look all to well because when he found out he had worn it too. But now it was time to pull himself together because Lucas needed him. He was the only family, besides Nathan that the boy had left and it was going to be up to him to put the shattered pieces of his son's soul back together and with this realization came a whole new wave of doubts and fears.

Lucas hated him.

The kid knew it, he knew, Nathan knew it, hell the whole town knew it and was the one thing out this whole situation that he wished he could change but he couldn't. But the words the boy had spoken to him last night still managed to hurt like hell and it also told him that there was a lot of hostility and resentment there.

"_Besides we both know how much people just love to leave me, right Dad"_

These same words had cut him deeper then any knife ever could but they couldn't be further from the truth. He didn't want to leave his child. He loved his son and wanted him in his life more then anything but his stupid, foolish pride had gotten in the way forcing him to lash out at him and punishing him for losing custody to the boy's mother.

It wasn't Lucas's fault that Karen had chosen to lawyer up and keep him away. It wasn't Lucas's fault that he had gotten Deb pregnant and it certainly wasn't his son's fault that his lawyer didn't even try to pled his case in court but instead told him that his wreck less actions with the blond was the reason why he would never have his son, his first born and the boy that he loved more then anything in the world. That Lucas, his little boy, would never know him.

He silently cursed himself now for not fighting for what he wanted. For not doing whatever he had to do to be a part of his son's life, but what's done is done and now they both had to move forward with their lives, or better yet what was left of it, and if that meant that he had to take the first step and deal with whatever abuse and heated words the younger Scott through his way then so be it. He wasn't going to walk away this time. Not now or ever again.

And he couldn't even if he wanted to.

Taking a deep breathe he turned the door knob and entered. When he stepped into the room the first place his eyes rested upon was the empty, unmade bed the boy had fallen asleep in the night before. He suddenly felt his heart rate increasing as he continued to study the room, hoping that is son hadn't left in the middle of the night or had done anything to harm himself, another issue he had to be on the look out for but he sighed a second later, relieved to see Lucas standing out on the balcony and staring into the ocean.

He slowly made his way over to the boy as not to startle him before standing at his side.

Either Lucas didn't know that he was no longer alone or he didn't care to acknowledge his presences because he didn't react in the slightest bit. He didn't shy away, he didn't look at him, he didn't do anything. He just stood there, numb and wearing the exact same expression as he did the night before.

Sensing that the boy wasn't in the talking mood Dan simply stood there with him as his mind flashed back to images of himself and Karen walking along the very same beach so many years ago. He smiled a little, remembering how she tried to keep her hair neat against the heavy winds while yelling at him for bringing her there. Well that was until he put her over his shoulder and carried her into the water. He shook his head at the memory. She was so pissed at him but they made up a few seconds later. She could never stay mad at him for very long, well back then anyway. Of course that was before things got messy.

"I wish I could be so cheerful this morning" the boy said breaking into his father's thoughts.

Dan was caught off guard not only by his son's words but by the nasty tone that carried them. But instead of flying off the handle and trying to dominate the situation like he would on any other day he just answered honestly.

"Just remembering that's all"

"Really" replied Lucas with his eyes still fixated on the water. "How she looked when you left her standing alone and pregnant in the gym or how her lifeless body looked when they took her away"

The boy's voice was no longer cold but rather unsympathetic. It was causal as if he were telling someone what he heard on the news one day.

It was scary.

"Neither actually. Just a day we shared on the beach" the man spoke before turning to face his son. He was hoping that the boy would return his gaze but looked back down sadly as he noticed that they boy had chosen to remain focused on the ocean.

"Uncle Keith used to take me to the beach all the time. Mom always had to work at the café and never had to the time so Keith and I would go. He always called it out guy's day out"

Dan smiled and turned back towards the water not wanting to push the boy into going any further. Lucas was in a bad place right now and needed to be handled with care.

"We would eat junk food all day. Ice cream, cookies, cotton candy, pizza, you name it we ate it" the boy continued.

Dan felt an instant twinge of jealousy at hearing all the fun his brother had with his son while he was forced to maintain his distance but he said nothing. He just let his son continue reminiscing.

"When we got back Mom always interrogated us about what we had to eat and we would swear up and down that we didn't have any junk but one day I ate a little too much and threw up on the floor at the café" the boy smirked before the emotionless mask returned "She grounded me and Keith for two weeks for lying"

"You must miss him"

"Yeah well life's a bitch that way. Besides after enough people start leaving you, you become desensitized to it. I should know it happens often enough for me"

Dan wanted to say something to defend his brother and himself but the words just wouldn't come out. Lucas's change sudden of emotions was astonishing and unlike anything he had ever seen before which meant getting the boy back to normal was going to be even more difficult then he thought.

"Then there's Mom" the boy spoke in a low growl as he held the banister tightly "Who thought that I was so much of a disappointment that she would rather die then to continue living life with me as her son. It's your fault Keith is dead Lucas. I hate you Lucas. I wish you were never born Lucas, oh no wait that one wasn't her" he said with a hint of cruel laughter "That one's all yours Dan"

"That's not true Lucas. I…"

"Just cut the shit Dan. People always leave. Peyton was right about that. You, Keith, Mom anyone else that's come into my life always ends up leaving me. But you know what? Its just fine by me. If they don't love me enough to stick around then why should I give a damn that they're gone? Why should I shed tears over people who think hurting me is a sport?"

Dan could see the tears in the boy's eyes and it crushed him knowing that he was partially responsible for his son's feelings of neglect. On instinct he reached out to hold the boy but quickly retreated when the boy jerked away.

"Don't touch me"

"I was just trying to comfort you son. I know this is a lot to handle with Keith dying and then your Mom…"

"Stop it" screamed a shaken Lucas as tears slid down his cheeks. He didn't want it to happen but he couldn't control it.

"They're gone son and I know that you're hurt. I know that you will say and do anything to stop the pain but lashing out at them and me isn't going to help"

"You don't know anything so just shut up! You don't know anything about me and you don't give a damn that Mom and Keith are gone" he yelled walking into the house as Dan followed closely behind.

"Hey you don't get to tell me how I feel" Dan said feeling himself losing control.

"Oh please you tortured them for as long as I can remember and now you expect me to believe that you suddenly love them and miss them" he paused "Well then again maybe you do. Maybe you miss having your little toys around to play with. Maybe you miss the way you could easily start a fight with Keith or the way you could piss Mom off with just a glance but you don't know how to love Dan. You're incapable. You have a black hole where most people have a heart so you don't feel anything. You never do. Only the people around you feel and you know the one emotion that you can trigger so easily in them all, pain Dan. When Keith, me, Mom, Nathan and Deb think of you all we feel is pain"

Dan wanted to shake some sense into the kid, tell him that didn't know the whole truth. That he didn't know as much about him as he thought he did but the man was cut off by a stunning revelation.

"Especially Mom" Lucas said taking a breath and walking over to his father so that he was now face to face with the man "Do you know that every night until the time I was fifteen I would hear her crying in her room. She kept asking over and over again why you left her and even though she never let anyone know how long she had been hurting I knew. I knew every night when I would stand in the doorway and watch her cry over you, holding a picture you guys in one hand and the jersey you gave her in the other"

Dan just stood there silently as the boy continued "And when she had finally cried herself to sleep I would go in the room and take off her shoes and take everything out of her hands and help her get underneath the covers, something a child should never have to do, I'd turn off the lights and go to my room and ask myself the same damn questions. Only instead I would ask why you didn't want me and what made Nathan so special that you would chose and Deb over Mom? Do you know what that feels like _Dad_?"

The venomous use of the word hit Dan like a blow to the chest causing him to step back as Lucas spoke "To wonder what you did that was so bad that your own father hated you? Or to wonder why the man you love suddenly stopped loving you back because Mom did. We both had to deal with the pain of your abandonment and rejection but thankfully we go through it with Keith's help. We learned to cope together and now my mother, the only person who cared about me from day one and my uncle, the man who raised me and loved me when you couldn't is gone and I blame you. You set this whole thing in motion and I will always hate you for that. Always"

Before Dan could say a word he his head snapped painfully to the right as his son's fist connected hard with his cheek.

"I hate you do you understand me! I hate you" the boy screamed as he tried to attack his father again but this time Dan was too quick for him.

The larger, older male seized hold of his son's arms and folded them across his chest as he pulled him to the ground as the boy struggled against him.

"Get off of me! I hate you!" the boy's screams were now a little softer and mixed with tears as his continued to struggle in his father's arms.

"Ok you wanna hate me fine then hate me but I won't allow you to blame yourself for what happened to your Mom and Keith and I'm not going to let you go through this alone Luke"

"Just let me go and walk away like you always do Dan. We both know that what you want to do anyway"

"Lucas stop it! I don't want to leave you and I'm not going to. Not now, not ever again" Dan was barely able to speak while trying to bring his son's tantrum to a halt.

Lucas's struggles began to subside as he rested his head on his father's arm.

"Just…let…me…go" the boy was panting as he now lay still against his father. "It hurts so much. I just want it to stop"

"I know son. I want it to stop too"

A few mintues later the boy was still in his father's arms leaving and a peaceful calm in the way of his outburst. Lucas had cried himself to sleep leaving Dan to cry silent tears himself and wonder how they were going to make it though this.

* * *

"Ok tutor wife I love ya and all but this depressing ass music has got to go. I think we have enough sorrow in our lives at the moment so we don't need to listen to it on the radio too"

"You're right Brooke, sorry" Haley said reaching over to change the station as they continued to make their way towards Lucas's house.

"Nathan I don't think this is such a good idea. I mean Karen and Lucas have been dealing with a lot lately and I'm not sure dragging them out of the house kicking and screaming is going to help"

"Listen we have to do something Peyton. They can't just stop living because Keith died that's not the way he would have wanted to be remembered"

"I know but…"

"I agree with Nathan. We have to do this for them other wise they're never going to get better"

"Well I don't think that ganging up on them is the way to do. That's all I'm saying"

"Well it wasn't our first choice either believe me but Luke's my brother and he was broody enough to begin with so excuse me if I don't want him to take that leap onto the suicide watch list"

Haley, Brooke and Peyton couldn't help but laugh but that laughter instantly faded when they pulled up in front of their friend's house and noticed the yellow and black tape decorating the front door.

"Oh my God" yelled Brooke as Haley felt her heart leap into her throat before turning back to Nathan.

The youngest Scott stared nervously at the door as a thousand scenarios ran through his head. His breathing became labored as he could feel tears stinging his eyes.

"LUKE!" he yelled as he flung open the car door, rushing towards the house and barging through the front door while Haley, Brooke and Peyton ran to catch up.

Inside the house Nathan was searching every room while holding his breath, afraid of what he might find.

Would he see a large puddle of blood?

Had Lucas killed himself? Or worse had someone killed both him and Karen.

The possibilities were needless and nerve wrecking and he was only met with more questions as he searched the house where nothing seemed to be out of place.

That's when his phone rang.

"Did you find anything?" asked Haley as she and the other girls walked up behind him.

"No, nothing" he said pulling out his cell phone hoping it was his brother. He rushed to answer without looking at the caller id.

"Luke?" he question. But his hopeful face disappeared giving way to a more sullen appearance. "What do you want Dad?"

"Yeah well what I'm doing is important to" he said wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible so he could find out what happened to his sibling.

Peyton, Brooke and Haley impatiently looked on, urging him to get off the phone but was surprised when he held up a hand to silence them.

"What" he said turning to the girls "Oh God. This can't be happening"

"What Nathan? What is it?" asked Brooke as her eyes became glazed over.

"Ok I'm on my way. Bye"

"Does Dan know what happened?" questioned Peyton.

"Yeah" he said turning to face his wife "It's Karen"

Off his words Haley grabbed his hand while Brooke and Peyton clung to each other already knowing the woman's fate but unsure as to the cause. But nothing was going to prepare them for what he was going to say next.

With a deep breath and a heavy heart the boy continued "She killed herself "


	4. Pinned Up Emotions

**Chapter Three: Pinned Up Emotions**

When the group arrived they found Dan sitting on a stool in the kitchen wringing his hands together and staring into nothingness. As they approached the man they could tell that he had been crying and that the starches on his arms were a good indication that things with Lucas weren't going too well.

They were standing directly next to him now and still the man hadn't moved or acknowledged the fact that visitors had arrived. They had never seen Dan Scott looking so…lost.

Nathan shot Haley a look before reaching out and tapping his father on the shoulder.

Dan didn't move or bother to look up as he spoke "He's in so much pain and has so much anger"

Dan was looking down at his hands now and tears were falling down his cheeks. Normally he wouldn't allow such a display of emotion but he was hurting more then he ever thought possible and didn't give a damn what anyone thought. He had lost his brother and first love all in the span of three weeks and was now forced to care for a son who hated him. He just hoped that between him, Nathan, Haley and the rest of the boy's friends that they would be able to put him back together again and give him a portion of his life back.

A teary eyed Brooke and Peyton nodded to Haley and Nathan before leaving them alone with Dan. As much as they loved Lucas and was worried about him, they knew that his family needed some time alone to sort things out. So they decided to wait in the living room until the Scotts had a chance to talk.

"Where is he now?" questioned Nathan who didn't quite know how to act around an emotional Dan.

He had never seen his father this way before. Not even when he almost drowned as a small child. But his father's sudden growth of a heart wasn't important right now. All that mattered was seeing his brother and making sure that he was okay.

"He's asleep in his room"

When Nathan raised an eyebrow Dan clarified "The one next to yours"

The boy then turned to his wife "Haley…"

"Yeah I know" the girl interrupted already knowing what her husband was going to say. "It's alright I'll go see him when you're gone"

Nathan mouthed thank you before rushing up the stairs and running towards his brother's room. It kind of felt weird now that Lucas was taking up permanent residence with Dan. Even though he was Lucas's father too he never pictured them getting along long enough to live together for more then a few months but then again maybe thing would be different this time and his father would stop being such an ass and be a father that both he and Lucas could be proud of.

As he entered the room he saw a limp form laying in the center of the king sized bed and instantly recognized it as his brother. Closing the door behind him Nathan moved over to his brother's side to get a better look at him but what he saw brought his heart and movements to a complete stop.

His brother was surrounded by a huge puddle of a crimson colored liquid. His face was pale and his chest did not move which could only mean one thing.

That he wasn't breathing.

In his right hand there was a sliver object that caught the light just enough to cause it to sparkle and get his attention. Panic seized hold of his body as he realized what the object was.

A razor blade.

Everything around him started to spin out of control as his mind worked to piece everything together.

Lucas surrounded by blood.

Razor blade in hand.

His brother was still, pale and not breathing.

As he forced himself to move closer it was then that the final piece of the puzzle made itself visible to his blue, terror frozen eyes.

There were large gashes across his brother's wrist.

Lucas had killed himself.

Nathan started shaking his head from side to side trying to ride himself of the notion. His brother was NOT dead. He couldn't be. No, he wouldn't allow him to be.

"DAD!" he heard himself scream as he ran to his brother's side and took the blond into his arms. Taking his cell phone out of his pocket he began frantically dialing 911.

"Nathan, what is it?" questioned Dan as he came running through the doors followed by Haley, Peyton and Brooke.

No one knew what was going on until they moved closer to the Scott boys and when they did, they instantly regretting having been so curious.

"LUCAS!" shouted Dan as he ripped the boy from his brother's arms and took him into his own.

"Oh God no, no, please tell me this isn't happening. No, this can't be real" cried Brooke as she turned her back to the bloody scene before her and buried her face in Peyton's shoulder.

The blond girl cried silently as she looked on unable to turn her eyes away from the gruesome scene.

Haley ran over to her best friend putting her own fear aside to be near him and her husband who was yelling into his cell phone pleading with someone to help his brother.

Dan was now giving the boy mouth to mouth as the female Scott ripped apart a pillow case to tie around the boy's wrist to stop the bleeding.

Once she was done she listened to the father willing his son back to life as his brother stood up from his position on the bed before running his fingers through his dark hair and pacing back and forth while crying.

"He's gonna be okay right" Peyton spoke aloud to no one in particular.

In the mist of the chaos Haley found herself becoming increasingly calm if only to stop the spread of madness and hysteria from continuing and poisoning everyone in the room. After all someone needed to stay in control and be able to assist the medical staff upon their arrival.

It seemed as though it took hours before anyone arrived and when they did they instantly began clearing the room.

Dan was the only one allowed to stay in partially because he was the boy's father and partially because he refused to leave the Lucas's side.

Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Peyton all held their breaths as they waited for someone to tell them something, anything about the boy's condition.

After a few minutes Dan exited the room followed by the medical team and a still unmoving Lucas strapped down to a gurney.

"He's breathing again but we have to get him to the hospital and fast" the elder Scott said as he rushed by the group to keep up with the ambulance workers.

"I'm going with Lucas"

"So am I" said Nathan tossing the keys to Haley.

"He's going make it right?" questioned Brooke to Haley.

"You're damn right he will. We're not going to lose him" she replied putting her arm around the girl. "But we need to stay strong. Lucas is going to need us to be there for him when he wakes up. So we have to make sure we're capable of giving him what he needs and we can't do that if we're falling apart"

"Haley's right Brooke, we have to be tough. And speaking of tough I am so going to kick his ass for this the second he's out of the hospital" Peyton said trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey I'm the girlfriend so I get first dibs" replied Brooke with a smirk.

"Come on girls. We need to get going" said Haley as the girls followed her to the car.

As they drove closely behind the ambulance Haley tried her best to push away the uneasy feelings she was getting. As much as she wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay she couldn't. There was something inside her that told the girl that her best friend was never going to be the same again and that this incident was only the begging.

That the Lucas she's known all these years was gone and that it was going to take everything they had to bring him back. It was almost as if she could see the darkening clouds growing above head signaling the gathering storm.

Tears blurred her as she quickly parked the car and escorted Peyton and Brooke into the emergency room all the while praying for the first time in her life that her instincts were wrong.


	5. The Waiting Game

**Chapter Four: The Waiting Game**

When they entered the waiting room they saw Dan and Nathan pacing back in forth in opposite directions, both running fingers through their dark hair and eyeing every doctor and nurse that pasted by them. They both looked so hurt, angry and defeated. They hadn't even noticed that the girls had arrived, that was until Haley spoke.

"Hey did they say anything about Lucas? Is he awake yet?"

"No" Dan said trying to blink back his tears at the mere mention of his son's name. "Those got damn people haven't told me anything about my kid. They won't even let me see him. What kind of hospital keeps a father from his dying child?"

Nathan sighed trying his best to keep himself clam as well as making sure his father didn't make the situation any more difficult then it already was. After all the man did have a talent for it.

"That's because they're operating on him Dad and trying to save his life. They can't do that if you're standing in their way so please don't say or do anything to distract them. Luke's gonna need all the help he can get, plus it's gonna take a while. There's a lot…I mean they have to…to…"

"Repair the damage" interrupted Peyton.

She could see the tortured look in Nathan's eyes as he struggled to come up with just the right words to complete his thought. The young woman knew that it had to be devastating for him to walk in and see Lucas like that. Hell it was an image that was going to haunt all of them for a long time to come.

Nathan gave her a thankful nod as Brooke and Peyton took seats next to one another while Haley forced the younger Scott to rest, guiding him towards a chair and taking a seat next to him. Dan however decided to keep to himself, walking over to the emergency room doors that his son had disappeared through a short while before the man sat down directly beside them, ready to pounce on the first doctor he saw. The older male was determined to take care of his son and make up for all the horrible things he had done to him and being his number one advocate was the first step.

Tears were now sliding down his cheeks as he raised his hands to his face. God what was he going to do if he lost Lucas? He didn't even get a chance to tell the boy that he loved him and that he was proud of him, all the things a son should be told by his father. But then again his dealings with his eldest son were anything but a normal father son relationship and he only had himself to blame for the way things were.

Sighing, the man leaned heavily against the wall as his eyes bore the full weight of his emotions. His hands trembled slightly as he wrung them together in an attempt to keep anyone from noticing. Besides he knew what would happen if they did and the man was in no mood to hear how strong his son is or listen to how much of a fighter he was. He was too young to have to be any of those things and the very thought of his son having to carry around the weight of the world all the time made his stomach turn. Lucas should be out with his friends or home blasting music in his room or even reading one of those classic novels that he loves so much not laying in an operating room with gashes in his wrist. None of this was right. None of it made any sense

Suddenly he found himself needing Karen desperately. She always knew what to say or do when times got to tough. She just had this way about her that was kind, resilient, caring, graceful, loving and genuine all at the same time. Whatever the situation was you could always count on her.

God she was amazing.

Dan had to smirk despite himself at the irony of his last thought. That was the first time he had been honest with himself about his true feelings for Karen every since he married Deb and the woman was no where around to hear it. She was light years away, taunting him with memories of what was and what could have been and now all he had left of her was their son, a boy who hated him and who could die at any given moment.

I guess what they say is true. What goes around, comes around and all the pain that he caused Karen, Lucas and Keith over the years was coming back to bite him in the ass, ten times fold.

In that instant the doors flung open, catching him off guard as a doctor and two nurses exited the operating room. It didn't take Dan long to snap out of his shock and pull himself to his feet.

"Excuse me" he said gaining their full attention. "Were you in with Lucas Scott?"

"Yes and you are?" questioned the young doctor.

"I'm his father Dan Scott" he responded reaching out to shake the man's hand. "How is he? How's my son?"

Upon hearing the question posed Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Peyton surrounded both the doctor and Dan all patiently waiting to hear the man's reply.

The doctor gave them a sad smile before turning to the nurses "Thanks for your help ladies I've got it from here"

The women nodded and went about their business as the young man addressed the family "Mr. Scott you're going to need to follow me into my office where we can discuss your son's situation more privately"

"No way" replied Nathan. "Lucas is my brother and I deserve to know what's going on with him and so does my wife and our friends so whatever you have to say you can say it to us, right here, right now"

The doctor looked to Dan for his approval before continuing "Very well. My name is Dr. Townsend and as you know I am the one handling your brother's case. Lucas lost a lot of blood so we had to give him a transfusion before repairing the damage to his veins. The procedure went well but there were some complications"

"What kind of complications Doc?"

"Mr. Scott you son's heart gave out on him twice during the surgery and we lost him for several minutes at a time. Fortunately for your son we were able to get him back but his heart has some scaring because of it. Now with that being said we're going to have to keep a close eye on him for the next year or so to make sure that he won't require surgery and needless to say that his HCM will only complicate things"

"So what does this all mean?" questioned an irritated Nathan.

He didn't want to seem rude to the doctor but he just wished that the man would get to the point and tell him whether or not his brother was going to be okay.

"It means that Lucas is okay for now but we cannot guarantee that he will remain that way. His heart will be the wild card in all of this but we are fully prepared to handle any situation that may arise and everything should turn out well if we stay on top of things and you bring him in once every two weeks for a check up"

"Oh thank God" Brooke said hugging Peyton while releasing the breath she had been holding in since her arrival. Physically Lucas was going to be okay. Now all they had to do was work on his mental state.

Almost as if reading her mind the doctor continued "But aside from Lucas's physical condition we are concerned about his mental stability. Mr. Scott do you have any idea why your son attempted suicide?"

Dan could have given the doctor a whole list of factors that could have contributed to his son's mental distress and none of them would put him in a good light so he went with the most recent event.

"His mother died yesterday"

Dr. Townsend immediately nodded his head in understanding "I'm sorry for your loss. May I ask what Mrs. Scott died of?"

Everyone held their breaths while Dan forced himself to answer "She killed herself with sleeping pills"

He didn't bother correctng the man and deep down he felt a little bit of guilt for what he was feeling deep down when the young surgeon made the slight error. He actually enjoyed hearing Karen being referred to as Mrs. Scott.

"That is unfortunate Mr. Scott and again I am truly sorry for your loss but I do have one more question to ask if you don't mind. Was Lucas the one who found her?"

Dan shook his head.

"No I did. But Lucas is also dealing with the loss of his uncle, my brother Keith. He died about three weeks ago and he and Lucas were very close"

"Poor kid" the doctor said looking over to Nathan. "And how are you holding up?"

Nathan wanted to tell the doctor that he had only lost an uncle and someone who was like an aunt to him but he didn't bother. Instead he simply replied "I'm okay. I guess everything happened so fast that it hasn't caught up with me just yet"

"It's okay son. Death affects everyone in different ways and I'm sure your brother will be back to himself soon. He's just going to need sometime"

"When do we get to see him?"

The doctor looked at the woman questionably.

"Oh sorry, I'm Haley James Scott. Nathan's wife, Lucas's sister in law"

"In about twenty minutes Lucas should be in his room. The only problem is that he's going to be in ICU for about two days so we can keep a close eye on his heart. Which means that his visitors are limited to family only" he said giving Peyton and Brooke a sympathetic look. "But don't worry after that he'll be put into the general population so you'll be able to see him then"

"Thank you so much doctor" replied Dan as he once again shook hands with the doctor.

"You're welcome Mr. Scott and one more thing. Once Lucas is in with the rest of the patients I want him to meet with a colleague of mine Dr. Smith. He's a very good psychologist and I think he can help your son work through his difficulties and once he's evaluated Lucas he'll be able to better access his situation"

"Well I know what the situation is Doc. Lucas is depressed and rightfully so with everything that's happened but don't worry he'll be fine"

The doctor sighed and walked a little closer to the elder Scott.

"Mr. Scott I'm sure you do realize that this can be just the first of many attempts Lucas could make on his life and we need to sure that this isn't just part of a more serious problem. Lucas could develop something known as bipolar disorder"

"What is that?" question a nervous Brooke. She didn't like where this conversation was going, not at all.

"It's a mental illness that can be brought on by trauma or caused by genetic components. It can start with a manic episode which is kind of like overdosing on caffeine pills. You can be full of energy one day experiencing complete and total euphoria, running on little sleep and having a thousand wild thoughts running through your mind and even engage in reckless behavior without thinking rationally or having any fear of consequences. Then out of nowhere you crash and burn. Some patients end up pushing themselves into deep depressions that take weeks or even months to recover from. It can also lead to hallucinations, delusions or…suicide. It's even possible to hurt others while having a manic episode and if it gets to a point where the person is a serious threat then they have to be committed for their own good"

Silence overtook the group as they digested the information that they had just received. It seemed so unreal to think that Lucas could become so mentally unstable that he would have to be committed. This was just too much to deal with, way too much.

Dan stared blankly at the doctor for a few moments before pushing his voice past his suddenly dry and achy throat.

"So what should we do to stop something like this from happening?"

"There's nothing you can do but be there for him and let him no that he's not alone in all this. Now I'm not saying that this is definitely what is wrong Lucas since it's too early to tell and the fact that I am not a psychologist but if it what I think it is then you may be the key to keeping him sane. You may be the only chance Lucas has of making a full recovery"

The sound of a piercing series of beeps interrupted the doctor from saying anything further as he gave his apologies to the family before going to care for another patient.

Moments later Nathan sent Peyton and Brooke home, promising to keep them updated on Lucas's condition while he, Dan and Haley waited for the nurse to arrive. When she did they didn't waste any time before rushing down the hall and making their way towards Lucas's room. Since the boy was only allowed one visitor at a time Nathan went in first.

"Hey bro" he said taking a seat next to the unconscious blond.

Even in his sleeping state Lucas looked troubled and uneasy. His skin was still pale but thankfully not as much as it had been when he was found earlier that day and his wrist were bandaged tight with one arm laid flat at his side and the other was raised slightly by a small pillow. That arm had the ivy in it while an oxygen tank, blood pressure unit and heart monitor decorated the walls next to his bed.

It was a tough sight to take in but Nathan knew what to expect. It was the same thing he had in his room when he had crashed his uncle Coopers racing car. He imagined that Lucas had been feeling the exact same thing he was feeling right now as he sat at his bedside waiting for him to wake up. He just hoped that Lucas would be more willing to talk about what actually happened then he was.

Nathan had sat with Lucas for a while before allowing Haley to do the same. The girl spent her moments with her best friend talking to him and letting him know that she would be thinking about him everyday until he woke up. She had broken down several times, each time apologizing for being so weak saying that she just missed him so much and wanted him to come back to her, his family and friends.

After a while both husband and wife were sent home by Dan. It had been one hell day and he knew that sitting around in a hospital for such a long period of time wasn't good for them. He told them that he would call them if anything changed and demanded that they get something to eat and some rest before coming back.

Once the couple was gone he found himself alone in his son's room with nothing but the steady beeping of the machines to keep him company. Walking over to the side of the bed he planted a kiss on the boy's head before sitting down on the bed next to him.

"Hey Lucas" the man spoke and sighed when he noticed the boy tense.

_Great he even hates me in his sleep._ He thought.

"I know you won't believe what I have to say but I'm gonna say it anyway" the man took a deep breath before continuing "I love you son. I always have and together we're going to get through this. No matter what has to be done, no matter how much you fight me along the way, as we both know you will" he laughed "No matter how much we scream or yell at each other I will not give up. I'm not going away and neither are you. We're in this till the end kid, you, me, Nathan and even Haley. Whatever you need to make it through I'll do it because you mean that much to me"

Off his own words Dan once again let his tears fall for quite some time before there was nothing left to give. Suddenly feeling tired he took off his shoes and rested his legs on the bed so that he was now sitting up right next to Lucas. He then put the boy's head on his chest and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to draw him near. After a while his breathing slowed and his body relaxed for the first time in weeks as he drifted further and further into the impending darkness just as someone else was beginning to awaken.


	6. Chapter 5: Pain For All

**A/N: I know that it's been forever but here's a new chapter. I hope that you all enjoy and as always please don't forget to review.**

**Chapter 5: Pain For All**

He blinked his eyes several times trying to fight the blurs of bright white light that was assaulting his vision. At first he believed that his attempt to end his life was a successful one and that he would soon be met by the two people who mattered most to him. That was until he felt his wrist throbbing causing him to clench his teeth in discomfort. There was also pain in his head and chest that seemed to run through his whole body. However, no matter how much he was suffering physically his mental state was far worse.

Everyone he grew up with had abandoned him and in his desperation he tried his best to not only rid himself of the pain, but to kill himself and reunite with the only people who really understood him. He sighed, wondering why he couldn't do anything right lately. He couldn't save Jimmy or Keith. He couldn't stop his mother from dying, hell he couldn't even off himself without screwing up. It was becoming painfully clear that Lucas Scott was a failure in every sense of the word.

Slowly he lifted his hand to his face only to find thin tubes of all kinds attached to his body. He wondered what had happened and who had found him such a horrorible state. He suddenly felt guilty for being so weak. He didn't know how he was going to face everyone. He was sure that Haley knew what was going on and of course Nathan, Peyton and Brooke were probably also aware of what he had done. Something in him knew that he should try and come up with some excuse or say that he didn't know what he was doing but they would all see through the lies. They would all see through him and reject him and this terrified him more then dying ever could.

Maybe he should just run away. It would be so much better then facing them. Besides who would miss him? Haley had Nathan, Peyton had Brooke and Dan, well he wouldn't give a dame one way or another. He thought about what he would do once he was able to put Tree Hill behind him. He could always find work in an auto shop. Keith had taught him everything he knew so there no car in the world that he couldn't fix. In fact the more he thought about it, the better the idea sounded to him. After he found a job he could rent a room somewhere and live the rest of his life alone which was exactly what he deserved. All he had to do was pull himself together and get the hell out of here and by the time anyone noticed he would be long gone.

He was about to free himself from the many tubes that invaded his body when he noticed that he couldn't move his right arm. It was pressed hard against something, or rather someone. Looking over he couldn't believe his eyes. Dan was asleep next to him. He quickly pulled away in the opposite direction as if he had been burned by fire. He didn't understand why the man was there. It wasn't as if he cared about him. In fact Dan had made it quite clear that he hated him. However their last conversation was different from all of the rest. It was almost as if Dan had feelings for him. But then again Dan Scott invented the art of lying so there was no way of knowing whether or not the man had told him the truth or if he ws just saying what he thought was best to keep the peace and keep him from causing the man too much trouble. He didn't know either way and more importantly he didn't care. Dan had brought enough hate, hurt, anger and disappointment into his world to last him a life time.

Being careful not to wake the man Lucas slid as far as he could to the left side of the bed. He then removed the tubes from his arms and nose. Upon lifting his left arm another wave of pain came over him, paralyzing every part of his body. This time the pain was coming from his chest his body convulsed involuntarily with each sharp jab. His vision was blurring again as tears filled his eyes. He had never felt anything so horrible in his life. This was too much.

"Lucas!"

He heard Dan's voice shout.

"What's wrong son? Talk to me, please."

His father's voice was panicked in a way that he had never heard before. It almost sounded as if the man was scared. He wanted to scream in agony but no sound would come out. His whole body was being held hostage by his seizing muscles.

As the room started to spin he could hear the man frantically calling for a doctor. His body felt as if he were being consumed by flames and stabbed all at the same time. He could now feel himself being lifted into arms much stronger then his own before being laid back down and poked by various shadow like figures. He wanted to know what the hell was going on but every time he tried to speak, a small puff of air would come out of his dry achy throat and nothing else. It was then, after he could take no more he closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to take him once again...

* * *

Haley James Scott sat outside on her balcony staring up at the bright stars above. Tears slid down her cheeks as she tried to process the events of the day. Karen was dead and her best friend in the world tried to kill himself. She didn't understand how everything had gone so wrong so fast. It was just yesterday that they were all happy. Her and Nathan, Keith and Karen, and Lucas and Brooke (or was it Peyton this week?) were doing great. Everything in their world couldn't be more perfect. Then Jimmy had to shoot Keith, Karen had to kill herself and Lucas almost succeeded in doing the exact same thing.

Part of her was angry with herself for not being there as much as she should have been. She should have stayed with Lucas and Karen none of this would have happened. Placing her head in her hands the young woman cried the hardest that she ever had. How was she going to help Lucas through all of this? She herself was a wreck and Keith and Karen were only like an aunt and uncle to her so she could only imagine how the blond was feeling. This was just all too much.

"Haley"

She could hear Nathans voice but she couldn't bring herself to look up. All she wanted to do was turn back time and stop all of this from happening. The man's arms wrapped around her and pulled her back to his chest as if to protect her from her own thoughts.

"I know that this has to be tough for you but you have to try and pull it together."

"Easier said then done right now. I can't believe everything that's happened. It just feels like a really bad dream and I just want to wake up and have everything be ok again."

"I know how you feel. I just can't believe that Lucas was stupid enough to try and kill himself"

Haley was stunned by his words.

"How could you say that Nathan? Lucas is not stupid! He's hurt and angry damn it so just lay off."

Deep down she knew that Nathan hadn't meant to should like an ass. He was just as shocked by her best friends actions as she was.

"Don't you think I know that Hales? Lucas is my brother. I wasn't saying it to be a jerk, I just don't understand why he didn't come to us."

"I know. Look I'm sorry. I guess that I'm just feel a little guilty about everything. I mean maybe if I had been there for Lucas and Karen then maybe she would still be alive and Lucas wouldn't have felt so alone that he would want to die."

"Listen baby there was nothing that you could have done. Even if you were there who's to say that Karen still wouldn't have committed suicide. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Karen had a choice to make and once she made up her mind there was nothing anyone could have done to stop her."

"I don't know about that Nate. Between me and Lucas we could have gotten her some help"

"Maybe but what would have happened the second that your backs were turned? She could have done anything."

"I guess"

"Listen, we can't undo what's already been done but what we can do is be there for Lucas and make sure that he gets better and that he knows we're here to support him."

The young woman spun around to face her husband and buried her head in his chest.

"You're right. Lucas needs us now and we won't be any use to him if we're falling apart."

Nathan was about to respond when the sound of the telephone ringing interrupted him. Both he and Haley stepped inside as the man raced to the phone.

"Hello"

"Dad, slow down. What's going on?"

"What?"

"Is he going to be ok?"

The question caused a knot to form in the pit of Haley's stomach as she listened in.

"Alright. We're on our way."

"Nathan, what's going on?"

"Lucas woke up and I guess he panicked and tried to get out of bed and ended up tarring up the stiches from his heart surgery" the raven haired male spoke as he grabbed his jacket and his keys.

He looked back at his wife who seemed to be frozen in place. He walked over to her and took hold of her arm.

"Come on Hales we have to go. Dad said he's going to be ok so don't freak out alright. I just want to make sure that we're there the next time he wakes up"

After a moment the girl nodded her head and followed her husband out the door. There were so many thoughts running through her mind as the couple raced to the hospital. Would her best friend really be ok? Would he be able to survive this? And if so what would be left of him?

She didn't know but she had no choice but to stick by his side and find out no matter how much he fought.

As they entered the hospital they noticed Dan sitting alone with his head down, not bothering to look at any one. The man had never looked so stressed.

"Dad"

The man looked up for a moment then lowered his head once more. He then spoke in a low soft tone.

"They're stitching him up now. First they had to make sure that there wasn't any infections and thankfully there weren't. We should be able to see him when they're done."

Nathan gave Haley a look and on cue she walked off to give the father and son some privacy.

"Listen Dad Haley and I can stay with Luke while you go home and get some rest"

"I'm not leaving him"

Nathan sighed. The younger Scott couldn't help but be a little jealous. The last time he was in the hospital his father basically told him to suck it up but yet Lucas was being treated like Daddy's little boy. He knew that he was being silly but he couldn't help it. After having Dan to himself for most of his life it was odd to see the man showing concern for the son he had abondoned so long ago.

"There's nothing more you can do here so why don't you go home. Haley and I will call you if anything happens."

"I said I'm not leaving Nate. I've made so many mistakes with your brother. I just want to make sure that I do the right thing this time."

Nathan held back the string of nasty remarks about his father's past behavior that he wanted to retaliate with. After all this wasn't about him or his was about Lucas and he would do what he had to do to make sure that there was no hostility in the air.

"Fine. I'll come get you when Lucas is back in his room."

He didn't wait for a reply. Instead he went in search of his wife and tried to rid himself of the feelings he was sure Lucas held for him for years. He really could not believe how he was acting. He was more angry with himself then anything.

When he found Haley she was sitting in the chapel lost deep in thought.

"Hey"

"Hey" she spoke in a shakey voice as he sat down next to her.

He then took her hand into his own. Together they sat quietly each one lost in their own world until Haley spoke.

"Lucas is going to be ok, right?"

"Yeah I'm sure he will. I just don't know when he'll be ok again. All we can do is help. The rest is up to him."

The girl rested her head on his shoulder and silence filled the air once more...


End file.
